Breathe In

This semester, I’ve been busier than I have ever been in my entire life. This is 100% my fault. And I’m 100% aware of that.

I’m taking more credits than I usually do, and my photo and video work has blown up to the point where it eats up almost all of my free time. On top of that I have a job, and an attempt at a social life, though most of the extra time I do have is spent doing the hobby side of photography and videography. Maybe so far this has sounded like a complaint; however, that’s not the case at all. I couldn’t be more thankful with the amount of work I have.

But sometimes, I forget to breathe.

With certain things going on in my life, staying busy has been my protection against myself, as I no longer have time to let my mind wander. I’ve had to start waking up at 5:00 A.M. every morning in order to get everything done for the day. On top of that, I schedule my days down until 9:30 P.M. for a couple reasons:

1) I forget stuff really really easily.

2) It helps me not waste time between things trying to remember what else I need to do.

But this last week, everything piled up, I had tests, quizzes, papers, and a ton of photo and video work to get done, and there was no way I had enough time to do them. I remember thinking that I literally cannot complete all of it even if I work from 5am-9pm. I was talking with a friend and I remember telling her about it, and basically releasing everything I had to do because I was stressed. I’m talking “call your mom” stress levels. While I was talking to her I was thinking about how I was going to get more time out of my day, and I told her “I guess I’ll have to learn to do things faster, because I can’t add more hours in a day," and I finished my conversation with the intention of focusing on being able to complete my work quicker so I can get more done.

"They say a smart person learns from their mistakes, but a genius learns from other’s mistakes."

Then later it hit me. What the heck am I doing? Work faster to get more done? I realized that I literally was doing all I could to get everything done! Yeah that sounds good, but maybe I can emphasize the issue with that thought process. Key word being “I." I hadn’t even taken time to pray about it; not only that, my total effort was in what I had to do, and it made me forget that sometimes you just give it your best and give the rest to God. Long story short, I prayed about it, decided that all I can do is work hard and let the rest work itself out. One of my biggest tests got pushed back shortly after this massive thought process, and a real estate shoot I showed up at hadn’t contacted me about the change in date, so I showed up, and they paid me for their lack of communication and my time. There went 2 of the biggest things I had to get done, just like that. I sat back in my car and I could almost picture God above me with his arms crossed and this sassy look of “that was easy” on his face. I kinda laughed in my car at this picture I had created in my head. It was a reminder that I gotta stop putting my faith in myself. Though I say this now, I’ll probably do the exact same thing a month from now. But hey, at least I’ll know what to do next time.

    They say a smart person learns from their mistakes, but a genius learns from other’s mistakes.

So C’mon, Take care of yourself, breathe in.

Sterling Grinnell